Loss of a Sibling

Losing a Sibling   The death of a sibling is the most neglected loss in adult life. Loss of a sibling means loss of someone who knew your formative past. Siblings are often our emotionally closest relatives. For that reason, “Survivors Guilt” and guilt over unresolved issues like rivalry with the sibling might linger for…

Why Home Wakes Are so Important

When my mom passed away at age 61, I washed and dressed her in her bed, decorating the room with fabrics, flowers and candles. She had been adamant about not wanting to be in a dark cooling room with other bodies after her death. So I kept her on dry ice for three days, until…

Ziri Rideaux - Friends Alternative Funerals

Dropping Our Avatars

This morning I had arranged for the viewing of a 55-year old man, who had peacefully died in his sleep, in his bed, of congestive heart failure. Afterwards, the family asked me to tell them “where did he go?” I answered he didn’t go anywhere, he’s right here with us. He just dropped his body…

Viking Funeral

When To Live And When To Die

I accompanied both my parents and my only sister Maia through their cancer treatment and their dying experience. With all three, right after the diagnosis, there was tremendous, blinding fear. The world “cancer” has a toxic, psychological effect on top of whatever physical illness is playing out. Witnessing their doctors who seemed to savor their…